I was not originally tagged to do it (I guess my friend Salve is tired of tagging me because I seldom do what I’ve been tagged to do, and on the only one occasion that I did a tag I even changed the rule and failed to tag someone else (rolling eye emoticon here). But, in fairness to ME, that was back when I still did not know I could get out of this little blog of mine and become friends with other bloggers (yeah, I was THAT slow). I thought, "who should I tag? I don't know of anyone who would play along!"
I guess I've changed because now, I can think of more than 10 friends who I can tag. I just don't know the rule as to how many I could tag, so I simply named two friends at the end.
Anyway, as I was saying, I wasn't asked to do this. I just stumbled upon it in one of Salve's friends' blog, which is also now my friend (yeah, I'm a friend grabber, hehehe). I loved the game so much, that I hinted at my new-found friend, Sonnet, that I want to do it. Mercifully, she got the not-so-subtle hint and she tagged me. (Wink emoticon here)
So here I am, doing a tagging game even if I was not asked, bullied, coerced, or forced to do it. But of course, like I usually do, I again broke some rules. But don't worry. I’ve been breaking some little rules for as long as I remember, and this one wouldn’t cause my banning in the blogosphere. I hope. (Another wink emoticon here.)
Here’s the rule: Answer the questions with song titles (your fave songs or songs that you like to play most of the time). No side comments please. Let the song titles explain your answer.
[The rule I broke: Not all the songs listed here my favorites. I researched some! Hehe! ]
1. How am I feeling today? Bluer than Blue by Regine Velasquez
2. Where/when will I get married? Quando, Quando, Quando by Engelbert Humperdinck
3. What is my best friend’s theme song? Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong and Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
4. What is/was highschool like? Sana Maulit Muli by Regine Velasquez
5. What is the best thing about me? Honesty by Billy Joel
6. How is today going to be? Waiting by Mariah Carey
7. What is in store for this weekend? There’s a Kind of Hush by Karen Carpenter
8. What song describes my parents? Endless Love by Lionel Richie
9. How is my life going? Constant Change by Jose Mari Chan
10. What song will they play at my funeral? As I Lay Me Down To Sleep by Sophie B. Hawkins
11. How does the world see me? A Ray of Sunshine by George Michael
12. What do my friends really think of me? Wind Beneath my Wings by Bette Midler
13. Do people secretly lust after me? Maybe by Sheryn Regis
14. How can I make myself happy? The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera
15. What should I do with my life? Follow you Dream by Sheryn Regis
16. Will I ever have children? Little Girl by Christina Aguilera
17. What is some good advice? Tell Him by Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand
18. What does everyone else think of my current life? Isn’t it a Wonder? by Boyzone
19. What type of men/women do you like? Honesty by Billy Joel
20. Will you get married? I Do by 98 Degrees
21. Where will you live? The Town I Love so Well by Ronan Keating
22. What will your dying words be? Lift up your Hands to God by Gary Valenciano
Ok. I’m tagging Tam because she might think it’s fun and Salve because I know she's gonna do it! Hehehehehe!
_______________________________
Check out my other blogs:
Brainteaser
Photo.Graphic Thoughts
Taeng ni Ayat
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Picasso Your Head
There is some craze in my ‘little’ community in the bloggosphere about the interactive site, Mr. Picasso Head, where anyone, with or without any artistic inclination, can ‘draw’ his or his friends’ heads with easy-to-use tools.
When it was first posted by Mandy, everyone, me included, had lots of fun doing it. It became an instant craze. But I guess it was another blogger-friend, Michelle, who got the worst Picasso-head bug. She actually drew each of her blogger-friends! And oh, boy! She is so talented that most of her drawings are recognizable!
Michelle also ‘drew’ me and I love her Picasso version of me very much. I think she was looking at my avatar through eyes that highlight what’s beautiful in everyone when she was making my Picasso head (or perhaps all the time), that’s why I came out looking very beautiful in her drawing. I haven’t looked that beautiful in a long while. ;-)
Here is Michelle’s drawing of me:
I love his drawings so much. ;-) Now, I understand why he had been pestering me to wear ponytails this afternoon, hehehe!
Simply copy the code, put the URL of your picasso head drawing at the URL section (red font) and type in the words you want to appear in your link at the green part of the code.
When it was first posted by Mandy, everyone, me included, had lots of fun doing it. It became an instant craze. But I guess it was another blogger-friend, Michelle, who got the worst Picasso-head bug. She actually drew each of her blogger-friends! And oh, boy! She is so talented that most of her drawings are recognizable!
Michelle also ‘drew’ me and I love her Picasso version of me very much. I think she was looking at my avatar through eyes that highlight what’s beautiful in everyone when she was making my Picasso head (or perhaps all the time), that’s why I came out looking very beautiful in her drawing. I haven’t looked that beautiful in a long while. ;-)
Here is Michelle’s drawing of me:
Cool, isn’t it?
Come on folks, try it too and have loads of fun. It’s something you can do to pass the time, or to have fun with your little kids and even with friends and loved ones who are kids at heart!
And oh, do show me your drawings by giving the links at the comment section. Please....
Here's my very first attempt: http://www.mrpicassohead.com/canvas.html?id=ca5f7ff&skin=original
(PS: Moments after my post, my Buddy, VF, tried his hand at the Picasso Head and look, he's got some artistic talent, too! Wow! Here's one of his drawings of me:
I love his drawings so much. ;-) Now, I understand why he had been pestering me to wear ponytails this afternoon, hehehe! (Don't you think I should be asking for my model's fee? Not that I modeled for him. But then, it's my beautiful face that's giving him inspiration, right?)
Here's another PS: If you're wondering how to create a link at the comments section, like I'm doing, please use this code:
Simply copy the code, put the URL of your picasso head drawing at the URL section (red font) and type in the words you want to appear in your link at the green part of the code.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wisdom in Hot Chocolate
.
Ever thought why contentment seems to elude man? When we get that which we’ve always wanted, we are happy and seemingly content for a while. But soon, we will find ourselves wanting something else. Our needs, our wants, just keep coming. We are never content.
I am sure you’ve heard that to live life to the fullest, we should concentrate only on the essentials. But how do we know which of the things we have, or want, are essential, and which aren’t, when we tend to measure life by the non-essentials that we have?
The following article which was sent to me via email this morning illustrates this point very well.
Wisdom in Hot Chocolate
(Author Unknown)
A group of graduates, well-established in their career, were talking at a reunion and decided to visit their old university professor, now retired.
During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives.
Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups — porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, some exquisite — telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: “Notice that the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup you’re drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases, it is just more expensive, and in some cases, even hides what we drink.
“What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup. But you consciously went for the best cups. And then, you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now, consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your money, job, position in society are the cups. They are just the tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God made the hot chocolate; man chooses the cup. The happiest of people do not have everything. They make the best of everything they have.”
So, how’s your hot chocolate? How many of us can say, “it’s very good” and truly mean it?
.
Ever thought why contentment seems to elude man? When we get that which we’ve always wanted, we are happy and seemingly content for a while. But soon, we will find ourselves wanting something else. Our needs, our wants, just keep coming. We are never content.
I am sure you’ve heard that to live life to the fullest, we should concentrate only on the essentials. But how do we know which of the things we have, or want, are essential, and which aren’t, when we tend to measure life by the non-essentials that we have?
The following article which was sent to me via email this morning illustrates this point very well.
Wisdom in Hot Chocolate
(Author Unknown)
A group of graduates, well-established in their career, were talking at a reunion and decided to visit their old university professor, now retired.
During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives.
Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups — porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, some exquisite — telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: “Notice that the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup you’re drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases, it is just more expensive, and in some cases, even hides what we drink.
“What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup. But you consciously went for the best cups. And then, you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now, consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your money, job, position in society are the cups. They are just the tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God made the hot chocolate; man chooses the cup. The happiest of people do not have everything. They make the best of everything they have.”
So, how’s your hot chocolate? How many of us can say, “it’s very good” and truly mean it?
.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Only When
Dreams. They are the fruits we envision the plants we sow would bear. But many of us dream without planting a seed. Some of us do, but we fail to water our plants, to fertilize them. So our plants die. And when they do, we wonder what happened to them, to our dreams. We blame everything. We blame the sun, we blame the rains, we blame the insects, yet we forget to blame ourselves.
//Sherma E. Benosa
09 May 2008; 10:10am
.
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have opened a photo-blog over at wordpress.com. Unlike my other blogs, this latest baby of mine contains photos. BUt unlike ordinary photo-blogs, the photos posted here contain my thoughts and reflections. Check it out: PhotoGraphic Thoughts.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
An Open Letter to Humanity
We often wonder about the why’s of life, especially when we are in the middle of a tribulation, whether or not it is of our own doing. We wonder why we have to go through things, why we must suffer, why life sometimes must be bleak, why things we think we can do better without happen.
I’ve asked the same questions, too. And below are the answers I’ve come up with. I hope they make sense.
I’ve asked the same questions, too. And below are the answers I’ve come up with. I hope they make sense.
.
[Text and image design, concept and layout by SEB]
//Sherma E. Benosa
29 December 2007; 11:10am
.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Transparency in an Opaque World
We are not just black or white; often, we are shades of gray. We cannot not just be one thing or the other. Often, we are both.Dynamic, evolving… that’s what we humans are. Never static, never the same. Like clouds, we continually move across the continuum that is our life.
Definitely, we are not just a single snapshot. Not even a series of snapshots. But most people think we are. How many times have we heard the comment, “You’ve changed!” with a tinge of surprise as if we were supposed to stay the same forever?
Indeed, it would be great if we were gifted with the ability to see each of us as we really are; to understand our depths, to appreciate both what is inside and outside of each of us.
But humans have limitations. They only see what they want to see. Sometimes, they just see the good. At other times, only the bad. Often, they do not see both. And, on rare occasions that they do, they find it hard to understand the tangled dichotomies that make up each person.
Humans are multi-faceted, multi-dimensional, but with very limited view of the things around them. Often, they do not see the whole picture, and cannot dig deep to fathom what’s inside other people. They see only what they want to see, or what they think they are seeing. Unfortunately, too, they are quick to make conclusions based solely on their perceptions, which are very limited to begin with. So they see others as all-beautiful or all-good, then be shocked to find later on that the others too have weaknesses of their own. The reverse is also true. Sometimes, people are sure that one is bad through and through, not knowing that that person is simply misunderstood.
If only everyone could look at a single thing and be able to look at it in its entirety and view it from every angle possible, then what a better existence we would have. And if only we try to understand every aspect of a thing first, before we make conclusions, then how much easier life on earth would be.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Collector’s Items
.
There is a game in the blogosphere that has been going on for some time, called tagging, where bloggers tag other bloggers. This is how it works. One blogger would start a topic, usually something about himself or herself, say, ‘three weird things about me.’ The blogger would make a list with some explanations. At the end of the list, the blogger would tag some of his blogger friends. Those tagged are expected to do the same.
I have been tagged many times by my good friend, Salve, but I haven’t done some tagging yet (until now, that is), because I can’t think of someone to victimize, hehehe. But with or without victims, I think I should do some of the games.
First up: three addictions. (Although I am more inclined to call it ‘collections.’ I don’t think I am addicted to anything besides my ‘Dungngo.’ Also, I am listing more than three. Hehehe Pasaway talaga ako. Sowi…)
Coins. When OFW relatives and friends ask me what I want for pasalubong, I always ask for low-denomination coins. They usually laugh at me, saying I don’t ask much. But I definitely treasure these kinds of gifts (I can’t collect them on my own).
I also collect old coins. I’ve been pestering my grandmother to look for the olds coins she must have kept, but to date, she hadn’t produced any! Huh!
So far, I now have coins from Hong Kong, Belgium, US, UAE, Australia, Singapore, Mauritius.
Bead jewelry. What girl in her right mind would not love those beautiful accessories, especially those made of crystal and glass? I am just into beads that I make mine myself. They’re just so lovely that when people ask me where I bought them, I am always proud to say I made them. :-)
.
//Sherma E. Benosa
The Brain Teaser
.
There is a game in the blogosphere that has been going on for some time, called tagging, where bloggers tag other bloggers. This is how it works. One blogger would start a topic, usually something about himself or herself, say, ‘three weird things about me.’ The blogger would make a list with some explanations. At the end of the list, the blogger would tag some of his blogger friends. Those tagged are expected to do the same.
I have been tagged many times by my good friend, Salve, but I haven’t done some tagging yet (until now, that is), because I can’t think of someone to victimize, hehehe. But with or without victims, I think I should do some of the games.
First up: three addictions. (Although I am more inclined to call it ‘collections.’ I don’t think I am addicted to anything besides my ‘Dungngo.’ Also, I am listing more than three. Hehehe Pasaway talaga ako. Sowi…)
My Collections
Books. I love books very much. Whenever I have free time, I read. When I want to de-stress, I read. When I travel, I read. I spend a big chunk of my time reading.
As to what I read, well, it varies depending on my mood, but my all-time favorites are those of James Clavell, Paolo Coehlo, Richard Paul Evans, Jeffrey Archer, Nicolas Sparks, and James Grisham, Leon Uris, JK Rowling and Mark Twain.
Of late, I have been buying lots of books, sometimes 3 to 5 titles at a time. My collection is not yet vast from the standard of a real bookworm (just about 200 titles), but then, I started only last year (I used to just borrow books from my friends). I know it would take years, even a lifetime, to build a mini-library of my own, but part of the fun is seeing my collection slowly grow.
As to what I read, well, it varies depending on my mood, but my all-time favorites are those of James Clavell, Paolo Coehlo, Richard Paul Evans, Jeffrey Archer, Nicolas Sparks, and James Grisham, Leon Uris, JK Rowling and Mark Twain.
Of late, I have been buying lots of books, sometimes 3 to 5 titles at a time. My collection is not yet vast from the standard of a real bookworm (just about 200 titles), but then, I started only last year (I used to just borrow books from my friends). I know it would take years, even a lifetime, to build a mini-library of my own, but part of the fun is seeing my collection slowly grow.
Coins. When OFW relatives and friends ask me what I want for pasalubong, I always ask for low-denomination coins. They usually laugh at me, saying I don’t ask much. But I definitely treasure these kinds of gifts (I can’t collect them on my own).
I also collect old coins. I’ve been pestering my grandmother to look for the olds coins she must have kept, but to date, she hadn’t produced any! Huh!
So far, I now have coins from Hong Kong, Belgium, US, UAE, Australia, Singapore, Mauritius.
Bead jewelry. What girl in her right mind would not love those beautiful accessories, especially those made of crystal and glass? I am just into beads that I make mine myself. They’re just so lovely that when people ask me where I bought them, I am always proud to say I made them. :-)
Wedding/debut giveaways. I know they are inexpensive, but there’s something about them that I just love. Maybe it’s because they remind me of friends’ happy times. Maybe because they’re pretty. Or maybe because, like trophies, they are things you can afford to buy for yourself, but won’t (of course).
Ribbons and cords. I find ribbons and colored cords very lovely. I collect ribbons from ribboned gifts, from the flower bouquets my Dungngo sends me, and even from ribboned merchandizes. I also buy from gift shops for the gifts I wrap (Although I must admit, there are times that I would debate with myself whether or not to use the ribbons I’d bought. The ribbon lover part of me would want to keep them for myself. Hehehe).
Other things I like: Boxes, abaca bags/wrappers, and paper bags. When I am given gifts that come with beautiful boxes or paper bags, I am as excited of the container as I am with what’s inside. :-) Yeah… most of the times, mababaw ang kalikayahan ko. Hehehe!
.
//Sherma E. Benosa
The Brain Teaser
.
Monday, January 28, 2008
“I Do”
Saturday, January 26, 2008. 5:05 pm. I was still writing like crazy, trying to beat the 8pm deadline for my article. The article was done, actually, but it was a page short. I’ve put everything I needed to write, so I was finding it hard to add more, for although I can be very wordy when it comes to blog posts and other personal stuff, I am very concise when it comes to academic and journalistic writing.
I paused for a while to stretch my arms and to figure out what more I could add to the piece I was writing. I was about to hit the computer keys again when a message popped up in my ym.
“Hi luv! How are you?”
It was from my Dungngo. A huge smile spread across my face. I wasn’t expecting him to be back yet. Immediately, I rang him and greeted him with glee. He explained he was home just to feed his cat, and of course talk to me, but he needed to be back to the hospital where he is receiving treatment in less than two hours. I was disappointed, of course, but I focused on the fact that at least we were able to talk before I was to travel for home that night.
Then the day and time hit me. Without preamble, I said: “Love, I do.” It took him a short time to figure what I was talking about. He let out a sigh before answering: “I do, too, Darling.”
Puzzled? Let me explain.
Last Saturday should have been our wedding day. The wedding march should have started at 4:30pm so I imagine that by the time my darling’s message popped up at 5:05pm, we should already be in front of our family and friends, exchanging I do’s.
There was no wedding march, no friends and folks around. I wasn’t in my wedding dress, and my Dungngo was miles away, still sick, but dammit there was no stopping us from exchanging our vows. We exchanged our I DO’s with only God as our witness, and our computers as companions. But that, as far as we are concerned, is as real as the real thing.
So now, I am married.
I paused for a while to stretch my arms and to figure out what more I could add to the piece I was writing. I was about to hit the computer keys again when a message popped up in my ym.
“Hi luv! How are you?”
It was from my Dungngo. A huge smile spread across my face. I wasn’t expecting him to be back yet. Immediately, I rang him and greeted him with glee. He explained he was home just to feed his cat, and of course talk to me, but he needed to be back to the hospital where he is receiving treatment in less than two hours. I was disappointed, of course, but I focused on the fact that at least we were able to talk before I was to travel for home that night.
Then the day and time hit me. Without preamble, I said: “Love, I do.” It took him a short time to figure what I was talking about. He let out a sigh before answering: “I do, too, Darling.”
Puzzled? Let me explain.
Last Saturday should have been our wedding day. The wedding march should have started at 4:30pm so I imagine that by the time my darling’s message popped up at 5:05pm, we should already be in front of our family and friends, exchanging I do’s.
There was no wedding march, no friends and folks around. I wasn’t in my wedding dress, and my Dungngo was miles away, still sick, but dammit there was no stopping us from exchanging our vows. We exchanged our I DO’s with only God as our witness, and our computers as companions. But that, as far as we are concerned, is as real as the real thing.
So now, I am married.
Home for a Day
I was home for a day yesterday. I traveled Saturday night, arrived home Sunday morning, and traveled back to the city Sunday night. (My brother Ogie, who stays with me in QC, went home Friday night). It’s tiring, really. Dad and Mom were happy we were complete as a family (well, almost, except for my Dungngo who is still abroad), although they think it’s crazy that I should be spending more time traveling than staying with them. I think it’s crazy too, but at least, I was able to see them, especially my two nephews.
As is customary whenever one of us is going home, I told every member of the family of our plans to go home a week ahead, so adjustments could be made on everyone’s schedules, and everyone could be home. It’s easier to organize things now, because my brother Iding and his family are now based in NV, even if his projects are in Baguio, Ifugao, and sometimes, Manila; and Ryan, who works for him, is also NV-based. It’s just Kate (Ryan’s wife, and Pau, their kid) we needed to ask to come to NV too for the family to complete. Somehow, my vacation seems incomplete when one member is missing, so I always ask everyone to come home whenever I am.
I was home less than 24 hours, and a huge part of it, I spent sleeping. Still, somehow, I feel I’ve done a lot of things. In the afternoon, we went to the farm and gathered alukon (yum, yum!). I also played with my nephews and took photos and videos of them, and ate good food (steamed malunggay, eggplant, and parda and pinakbet con alukon). Of course, bye-bye time was still hard, but it’s okay. Mom and Dad’s smiles the whole day were big, which makes me feel we did something good just by going home. (Dad enjoys telling everyone who greets us and notes we are all home: “Adda amin dagitay boss ko” with a glitter in his eyes.)
I feel relaxed, too. I’ve had a busy and brain-draining schedule last week. By Saturday, I was already feeling stressed out. Miraculously, my crazy trip back home erased ‘em all. Now, I’m fully energized.
As is customary whenever one of us is going home, I told every member of the family of our plans to go home a week ahead, so adjustments could be made on everyone’s schedules, and everyone could be home. It’s easier to organize things now, because my brother Iding and his family are now based in NV, even if his projects are in Baguio, Ifugao, and sometimes, Manila; and Ryan, who works for him, is also NV-based. It’s just Kate (Ryan’s wife, and Pau, their kid) we needed to ask to come to NV too for the family to complete. Somehow, my vacation seems incomplete when one member is missing, so I always ask everyone to come home whenever I am.
I was home less than 24 hours, and a huge part of it, I spent sleeping. Still, somehow, I feel I’ve done a lot of things. In the afternoon, we went to the farm and gathered alukon (yum, yum!). I also played with my nephews and took photos and videos of them, and ate good food (steamed malunggay, eggplant, and parda and pinakbet con alukon). Of course, bye-bye time was still hard, but it’s okay. Mom and Dad’s smiles the whole day were big, which makes me feel we did something good just by going home. (Dad enjoys telling everyone who greets us and notes we are all home: “Adda amin dagitay boss ko” with a glitter in his eyes.)
I feel relaxed, too. I’ve had a busy and brain-draining schedule last week. By Saturday, I was already feeling stressed out. Miraculously, my crazy trip back home erased ‘em all. Now, I’m fully energized.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Magazine Cover Girls (Feeling lang...)
My good friend, Chie (Sheryl), asked me to post these pictures in my blog. She is currently taking Photoshop lessons with Manong Ricco, and these are her practice outputs. She was so excited the other night, saying over and over that she couldn’t believe she had done these.
Good job, Chie! Love yah!
(Above, left) Original picture; (Right) Magazine cover version; (Below) Chie on cover. Ganda niya, 'no?
Below is an additional photo. This time, from FantasiaLand. Gift ni Fairy Chie.
Good job, Chie! Love yah!
(Above, left) Original picture; (Right) Magazine cover version; (Below) Chie on cover. Ganda niya, 'no?
Below is an additional photo. This time, from FantasiaLand. Gift ni Fairy Chie.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
New Name, New Look, New Me?
My blog just got a face lift and changed identity. Now you ask: Does that mean anything?
The answer is it does and it doesn’t. Let me elaborate.
The main reason for the face lift is that I find the blog’s old look very boring. I had always wanted to make changes in its looks, but it’s only now that I was able to sit down and fix it. The change in name (from “The Wicked Angels Haven” to “The Written Wor[l]d), on the other hand, signals maturation on my part. When I started referring to myself as a “wicked angel,” I was just a child asserting to be myself. It was my way of calling attention to the duality that resides in me; to assert that though I am generally nice and good, I also do not say things that are contrary to my beliefs just because they are what the people around me want to hear; nor do I do things solely because they are expected of me.
“The Written Wor[l]d” was coined almost immediately after I put up “D’wicked Angel’s Haven” in 2004. I had always wanted to create another blog of this title and, in some occasions, had been tempted to change the existing blog’s name to “The Written Wor[l]d,” but somehow I kept deciding against doing it. Until today.
So yes, in some ways, the change in the name and in the look of the blog signals changes in me as well. But not that much, because the content of the blog would be pretty much the same. Attempts at poetry, personal essays and other stuff that I find interesting shall continue to grace this blog’s pages.
Thank you for visiting me here. Truly, this page that I originally intended to be for private use only has evolved to become a place where I can share with friends my thoughts and feelings, my triumphs and failures, and my wishes and dreams.
The answer is it does and it doesn’t. Let me elaborate.
The main reason for the face lift is that I find the blog’s old look very boring. I had always wanted to make changes in its looks, but it’s only now that I was able to sit down and fix it. The change in name (from “The Wicked Angels Haven” to “The Written Wor[l]d), on the other hand, signals maturation on my part. When I started referring to myself as a “wicked angel,” I was just a child asserting to be myself. It was my way of calling attention to the duality that resides in me; to assert that though I am generally nice and good, I also do not say things that are contrary to my beliefs just because they are what the people around me want to hear; nor do I do things solely because they are expected of me.
“The Written Wor[l]d” was coined almost immediately after I put up “D’wicked Angel’s Haven” in 2004. I had always wanted to create another blog of this title and, in some occasions, had been tempted to change the existing blog’s name to “The Written Wor[l]d,” but somehow I kept deciding against doing it. Until today.
So yes, in some ways, the change in the name and in the look of the blog signals changes in me as well. But not that much, because the content of the blog would be pretty much the same. Attempts at poetry, personal essays and other stuff that I find interesting shall continue to grace this blog’s pages.
Thank you for visiting me here. Truly, this page that I originally intended to be for private use only has evolved to become a place where I can share with friends my thoughts and feelings, my triumphs and failures, and my wishes and dreams.
Thank you for spending time with me, folks!
Sunday, January 06, 2008
8 Goals for 2008
Goal setting, that’s what I do whenever I have time to plan my next steps, especially right before or after I make a jump. I don’t like resolutions mainly because I have yet to meet a person who has actually been successful in making his or her resolutions happen.
One of the things why resolutions don’t work is that many make them just for the sake of having resolutions for the New Year, without the necessary commitment to make them come true. Another one is that, most often, many just list the things they want to change or achieve without identifying the things they must do to make them a reality.
So it’s goal setting I do. The main difference (in my humble opinion) between goals and resolutions is that the former tends to be more realistic than the latter. Also, when one sets goals, one necessarily identifies the things that might hinder him or her from achieving those goals and the things he or she can and must do to achieve those goals despite the barriers. He or she may or may not write the hows, but written or not, these things have to be in his or her mind.
Writing and posting my goals work, not only because I am reminded of them every time I open my blog, but also because friends who have read them ask me how it’s going. My first attempt was sometime in 2005 when I challenged myself to read a number of classic literature in a year. My friends were very supportive, asking me how I was doing (and teasing me about how late I was at realizing I should be reading classics) and suggesting good titles for me to read. Salve even lent me several classics from her extra-huge collection.
There is some sort of good pressure when my goals are written for everyone to see, that there is a better chance that I achieve (most of) them. Also, family and friends tend to align their goals and activities with mine, so as to help me achieve them.
So what are my goals for this year? Here they are:
Finish my studies. This has been mentioned a bit too often in my goals. Sometime in 2006, I actually decided to ditch it, but someone got into the picture and convinced me to finish it. So now, I plan to do the thesis. Anyway, it’s just this kalokang thesis that is standing between me and my diploma.
Travel. This year, I plan to visit any three of these local tourist spots: Palawan, Callao Caves, Boracay, Bicol, Abra or Sagada and any one of these South East Asian countries: Malaysia, Thailand, or Indonesia. You guessed it right: it’s still in accordance with my dream to break into travel writing genre.
Pursue my entrepreneurial spirit. Even when I was much younger, I had always dreamed of eventually owning my own business, although I was not sure I’d eventually learn how to manage a business and I’d have a capital. What’s more, I did not know the ins and outs of a good business; couldn’t even think of what business to put up. But now, thanks to the influence of my brother who set up his own firm with some of his friends almost immediately after he passed the board exams, and of the people I am close to who had successfully crossed over to business, I think I am now ready to try my hand at it. Right now, I have several seemingly good business ideas. I hope the feasibility studies would turn out positive.
Write and publish short stories. During the past three months since I quitted my work, I devoted my time to practicing my writing skills. I think I’ve done enough practice; it’s time that I do real stuff. Of course, I’ll still be writing some stuff for my blogs (how can I not? hehe), but I must devote more time now pursuing my fiction writing dream.
Continue with my self-training on adobe and other graphic programs. And how about learning to do web design? Manong Ricco, who installed Flash in my computer last month, says it’s easy. A bit tricky, he says, but it’s alright once you’ve got the hang of it. Why not?
Get into crafts (besides beadworks which I already am into) and learn some livelihood skills. I had tried to enroll in dressmaking last year, but the class was already full so I was advised to do it this summer. I’ll try to be early this time. I still do some beadworks (yes, I make most of my accessories) but I’d also love to learn candle and soap making.
Become a regular contributor to some national magazines. Besides H&L, of course. I’m already in contact with some, and I hope they’d react positively to my sample works. Sana! :-)
I said 8 goals, but listed only 7. There’s another one, of course, but I prefer to keep it off the visible list for a while. Smile! Hehehehehe
One of the things why resolutions don’t work is that many make them just for the sake of having resolutions for the New Year, without the necessary commitment to make them come true. Another one is that, most often, many just list the things they want to change or achieve without identifying the things they must do to make them a reality.
So it’s goal setting I do. The main difference (in my humble opinion) between goals and resolutions is that the former tends to be more realistic than the latter. Also, when one sets goals, one necessarily identifies the things that might hinder him or her from achieving those goals and the things he or she can and must do to achieve those goals despite the barriers. He or she may or may not write the hows, but written or not, these things have to be in his or her mind.
Writing and posting my goals work, not only because I am reminded of them every time I open my blog, but also because friends who have read them ask me how it’s going. My first attempt was sometime in 2005 when I challenged myself to read a number of classic literature in a year. My friends were very supportive, asking me how I was doing (and teasing me about how late I was at realizing I should be reading classics) and suggesting good titles for me to read. Salve even lent me several classics from her extra-huge collection.
There is some sort of good pressure when my goals are written for everyone to see, that there is a better chance that I achieve (most of) them. Also, family and friends tend to align their goals and activities with mine, so as to help me achieve them.
So what are my goals for this year? Here they are:
Finish my studies. This has been mentioned a bit too often in my goals. Sometime in 2006, I actually decided to ditch it, but someone got into the picture and convinced me to finish it. So now, I plan to do the thesis. Anyway, it’s just this kalokang thesis that is standing between me and my diploma.
Travel. This year, I plan to visit any three of these local tourist spots: Palawan, Callao Caves, Boracay, Bicol, Abra or Sagada and any one of these South East Asian countries: Malaysia, Thailand, or Indonesia. You guessed it right: it’s still in accordance with my dream to break into travel writing genre.
Pursue my entrepreneurial spirit. Even when I was much younger, I had always dreamed of eventually owning my own business, although I was not sure I’d eventually learn how to manage a business and I’d have a capital. What’s more, I did not know the ins and outs of a good business; couldn’t even think of what business to put up. But now, thanks to the influence of my brother who set up his own firm with some of his friends almost immediately after he passed the board exams, and of the people I am close to who had successfully crossed over to business, I think I am now ready to try my hand at it. Right now, I have several seemingly good business ideas. I hope the feasibility studies would turn out positive.
Write and publish short stories. During the past three months since I quitted my work, I devoted my time to practicing my writing skills. I think I’ve done enough practice; it’s time that I do real stuff. Of course, I’ll still be writing some stuff for my blogs (how can I not? hehe), but I must devote more time now pursuing my fiction writing dream.
Continue with my self-training on adobe and other graphic programs. And how about learning to do web design? Manong Ricco, who installed Flash in my computer last month, says it’s easy. A bit tricky, he says, but it’s alright once you’ve got the hang of it. Why not?
Get into crafts (besides beadworks which I already am into) and learn some livelihood skills. I had tried to enroll in dressmaking last year, but the class was already full so I was advised to do it this summer. I’ll try to be early this time. I still do some beadworks (yes, I make most of my accessories) but I’d also love to learn candle and soap making.
Become a regular contributor to some national magazines. Besides H&L, of course. I’m already in contact with some, and I hope they’d react positively to my sample works. Sana! :-)
I said 8 goals, but listed only 7. There’s another one, of course, but I prefer to keep it off the visible list for a while. Smile! Hehehehehe
Friday, December 14, 2007
The (In)Famous Ones
It’s been three months since I left FAME, but when I saw the guys today, it felt like I’d never left.
I am talking about my ex-officemates, the young souls who made my stay at FAME worthwhile, the friends who made every cortisol-filled moment at work seem less stressful, the friends with whom I shared laughter and tears, and some fun and more fun.
Some have left long before I did; others shortly after I brought home my personal stuff, never to bring them to the office again; while the rest are contemplating of trudging a different road soon. We are now walking on different avenues, but still we are bonded in a way that souls who recognize something in each other are bonded.
I hope the deep friendship remains, even if there may come a time when fate would decide to toss us into different worlds.
I am talking about my ex-officemates, the young souls who made my stay at FAME worthwhile, the friends who made every cortisol-filled moment at work seem less stressful, the friends with whom I shared laughter and tears, and some fun and more fun.
Some have left long before I did; others shortly after I brought home my personal stuff, never to bring them to the office again; while the rest are contemplating of trudging a different road soon. We are now walking on different avenues, but still we are bonded in a way that souls who recognize something in each other are bonded.
I hope the deep friendship remains, even if there may come a time when fate would decide to toss us into different worlds.
Friday, December 07, 2007
"FREELANCE"
For the past three months, the word ‘freelance’ which I had been using to describe my employment status was merely a euphemism for what I really was: (almost) jobless. For, even if I had several writing assignments, my income was almost non-existent. Pay per article is unbelievably low.
I did prepare myself for this. Even before I resigned from work, I knew it would take time before I would be able to establish myself as a freelance writer. I also knew there would be times I would feel down for not having an income. I had psyched myself beforehand not to give in to self pity when those taunting moments come, but still, when they did, it was extremely hard not to question my self-worth.
May be I could have found a new job faster if I had not laid down the rule before I resigned: that this time, I will apply only in freelance or part time jobs. During the three months I was unemployed, there were several job openings I could have applied to. When I submitted my term paper at the linguistics department of the university last September, I was told the department was looking for a researcher with knowledge in linguistics. Being a linguistics graduate from that very same department, I was encouraged to apply, and I was vastly tempted because I could be sent to other countries for fieldworks, and I could finally practice my course. But it was a fulltime job, so I didn’t.
Then Manang Linda (Bulong) told me that the UP press was in need of a copyeditor. She encouraged me to apply. Again, the temptation was so great. Who would not want to work for UP press? Even my Dungngo who knew of my freelance-only rule convinced me to apply. And honestly, I did contemplate sending in my resume, but eventually didn’t. I stuck by my rule.
There were other openings in companies I would have loved to be part of, but all were fulltime positions, so despite the encouragements I received, I did not apply. To be honest, I felt bad because I see them as doors opening, with a promise of a warm welcome and an invitation for a short peek, which I unceremoniously turned down as if I was already sure I would be allowed to linger inside.
By the third week of November, with still not many prospects of getting regular assignments besides my previous company which retained me as a contributor, I started doubting my decision. I wondered if I jumped off the cliff that was my previous job prematurely. Besides the magazines where I submitted unsolicited materials, hoping they would be published sometime in the future (say, middle of next year), there weren’t many part time/freelance jobs available, and the only company I applied to and where I did an editing exam last September had not contacted me. After two months of hearing nothing from them, I was ready to accept that my application was rejected.
“Love, saanak sa a nakapasa idiay nageksamak,” I sadly told my Dungngo late last month. “Dua a bulanen ti napalabas manipud nageksamak and I still haven’t heard from them.”
“It’s alright, love. There will be other jobs,” he answered.
I sighed. “I know that. But, well, I feel I am not good enough. I mean, I know there are others who are much better than I am, but it feels bad to realize I am not in their league.”
“Oh, Love. Don’t think that way. You are good.”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
He sighed, lost for words, so I added, “Sorry, love, but I can’t help it. I am a positive thinker, you know that, and I believe in what I can do. Pero, siempre, I also cannot help feeling down from time to time. I’ve read about how retirees sometimes feel when all of a sudden they find themselves with nothing much to do. I think that’s how I feel right now. A retiree. Except that I am not their age! Waaaaaaaaaaa!”
“Heh! Saan man a ti la ibagbagam.” He said, laughing at the funny sound I made. “Just wait, love. Something will come up. While waiting, aramidem pay laeng dagitay intedko nga assignments mo.”
“Ooooopppps! Wen aya!” I suddenly perked up, blessing him for pulling me out of my ensuing depression. Yes, indeed, I had a lot of things to do. I might be jobless, but my hands were full. During the past months, I was busy polishing my Iluko (Ilokano), busy writing my assignments for Health and Lifestyle, busy trying to write iluko short stories, busy learning poetry, busy revisiting Japanese poetry forms (haiku), busy setting aside my thesis (hehehe), busy reading pocket books, busy writing blog materials, busy doing my hobbies, and of course, busy sleeping.
So though in my heart, I knew I wanted the part-time editing job so much because with it I could work at home on my own time, and of course, there would be regular pay checks, I had accepted that I failed. So I launched my plan B which was to try to become a regular contributor in other magazines. I studied several magazines, took note of the kind of articles they publish, the length and tone of the articles, the magazines’ readership profiles, and so on. I short listed some magazines where I would want to try to get regular assignments. I also started writing travel articles not only because almost every magazine has a travel section, but because I wanted to break into this genre.
I even put into action my plan C, which I will not talk about for the time being. Yes, I think I was beginning to feel desperate.
But last Monday, my dream company — the one I thought did not want me — contacted me, inviting me for an interview. I was ecstatic! During the interview last Tuesday, I learned that their selection process had been tedious, that they gave examinations to hundreds of applicants, that’s why it took them a long time to process the applications.
And today… wow! I feel so blessed. I was again invited to visit them. Not for interview, but for contract signing! All of a sudden, I was pulled out of a dark abyss. My prayers have just been answered. Now, I can say I am indeed a freelance writer-editor without the shadows of the word “bum” hanging over me every time I blurt out the word.
Yes, my ‘bumship’ days are over.
Sherma E. Benosa
06 December 2007; 9:34pm
I did prepare myself for this. Even before I resigned from work, I knew it would take time before I would be able to establish myself as a freelance writer. I also knew there would be times I would feel down for not having an income. I had psyched myself beforehand not to give in to self pity when those taunting moments come, but still, when they did, it was extremely hard not to question my self-worth.
May be I could have found a new job faster if I had not laid down the rule before I resigned: that this time, I will apply only in freelance or part time jobs. During the three months I was unemployed, there were several job openings I could have applied to. When I submitted my term paper at the linguistics department of the university last September, I was told the department was looking for a researcher with knowledge in linguistics. Being a linguistics graduate from that very same department, I was encouraged to apply, and I was vastly tempted because I could be sent to other countries for fieldworks, and I could finally practice my course. But it was a fulltime job, so I didn’t.
Then Manang Linda (Bulong) told me that the UP press was in need of a copyeditor. She encouraged me to apply. Again, the temptation was so great. Who would not want to work for UP press? Even my Dungngo who knew of my freelance-only rule convinced me to apply. And honestly, I did contemplate sending in my resume, but eventually didn’t. I stuck by my rule.
There were other openings in companies I would have loved to be part of, but all were fulltime positions, so despite the encouragements I received, I did not apply. To be honest, I felt bad because I see them as doors opening, with a promise of a warm welcome and an invitation for a short peek, which I unceremoniously turned down as if I was already sure I would be allowed to linger inside.
By the third week of November, with still not many prospects of getting regular assignments besides my previous company which retained me as a contributor, I started doubting my decision. I wondered if I jumped off the cliff that was my previous job prematurely. Besides the magazines where I submitted unsolicited materials, hoping they would be published sometime in the future (say, middle of next year), there weren’t many part time/freelance jobs available, and the only company I applied to and where I did an editing exam last September had not contacted me. After two months of hearing nothing from them, I was ready to accept that my application was rejected.
“Love, saanak sa a nakapasa idiay nageksamak,” I sadly told my Dungngo late last month. “Dua a bulanen ti napalabas manipud nageksamak and I still haven’t heard from them.”
“It’s alright, love. There will be other jobs,” he answered.
I sighed. “I know that. But, well, I feel I am not good enough. I mean, I know there are others who are much better than I am, but it feels bad to realize I am not in their league.”
“Oh, Love. Don’t think that way. You are good.”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
He sighed, lost for words, so I added, “Sorry, love, but I can’t help it. I am a positive thinker, you know that, and I believe in what I can do. Pero, siempre, I also cannot help feeling down from time to time. I’ve read about how retirees sometimes feel when all of a sudden they find themselves with nothing much to do. I think that’s how I feel right now. A retiree. Except that I am not their age! Waaaaaaaaaaa!”
“Heh! Saan man a ti la ibagbagam.” He said, laughing at the funny sound I made. “Just wait, love. Something will come up. While waiting, aramidem pay laeng dagitay intedko nga assignments mo.”
“Ooooopppps! Wen aya!” I suddenly perked up, blessing him for pulling me out of my ensuing depression. Yes, indeed, I had a lot of things to do. I might be jobless, but my hands were full. During the past months, I was busy polishing my Iluko (Ilokano), busy writing my assignments for Health and Lifestyle, busy trying to write iluko short stories, busy learning poetry, busy revisiting Japanese poetry forms (haiku), busy setting aside my thesis (hehehe), busy reading pocket books, busy writing blog materials, busy doing my hobbies, and of course, busy sleeping.
So though in my heart, I knew I wanted the part-time editing job so much because with it I could work at home on my own time, and of course, there would be regular pay checks, I had accepted that I failed. So I launched my plan B which was to try to become a regular contributor in other magazines. I studied several magazines, took note of the kind of articles they publish, the length and tone of the articles, the magazines’ readership profiles, and so on. I short listed some magazines where I would want to try to get regular assignments. I also started writing travel articles not only because almost every magazine has a travel section, but because I wanted to break into this genre.
I even put into action my plan C, which I will not talk about for the time being. Yes, I think I was beginning to feel desperate.
But last Monday, my dream company — the one I thought did not want me — contacted me, inviting me for an interview. I was ecstatic! During the interview last Tuesday, I learned that their selection process had been tedious, that they gave examinations to hundreds of applicants, that’s why it took them a long time to process the applications.
And today… wow! I feel so blessed. I was again invited to visit them. Not for interview, but for contract signing! All of a sudden, I was pulled out of a dark abyss. My prayers have just been answered. Now, I can say I am indeed a freelance writer-editor without the shadows of the word “bum” hanging over me every time I blurt out the word.
Yes, my ‘bumship’ days are over.
Sherma E. Benosa
06 December 2007; 9:34pm
Saturday, November 03, 2007
"Bumship" Report: How Am I Faring?
It’s been two months since I became a freelance writer. My life has considerably become much simpler and less stressful since I left my fulltime job. In fact, I have managed to see a good part of my province, and I’ve written a travel piece about it. I’ve likewise managed to squeeze into my daily itinerary (which consists mainly of writing, eating, and talking to my Dungngo) occasional walks in parks and aerobics.
How have I fared during the past two months? Let me see.
In the first two weeks I wrote one medical article, though I spent most of my energy relaxing and being with the family, and getting to know more about my home province. I also spent a lot of time with my nephew Pau.
In the last three weeks, I’ve written another four magazine articles for publication (two medical and two travel), finished my term paper (thanks, Dungngo), and conducted some researches on magazines where I can contribute. I’ve also watched a play at Greenbelt 1 and attended an art exhibit at UP Vargas Museum. Likewise, I’ve polished my pen (poetry and essay). So far, I’ve written about three essays, one Iluko short story, one english short story, and several poems. I’ve also made two videos (thanks again, Dungngo), edited my Dungngo’s short story and co-authored a nobe-nobela at my blog in Iluko.com. Right now, I am writing an article and I’ve got another one lined up for next week.
I think I’ve been productive during the past two months of my “bumship.” Only, most of my outputs are for personal pleasure (blog posts for blogger and iluko.com… hehehe). So while in the next two months I think I’d be doing pretty much the same, I’d endeavor now to write more “for publication” pieces. Practice time is up. I think it’s about time I churn out more publish-worthy pieces.
________
I think I’d still try to find a part time job — one that would give me regular assignments but won’t ask me to regularly report for work. (Kung bakit kasi puro full-time ang offer! Waaaa!)
How have I fared during the past two months? Let me see.
In the first two weeks I wrote one medical article, though I spent most of my energy relaxing and being with the family, and getting to know more about my home province. I also spent a lot of time with my nephew Pau.
In the last three weeks, I’ve written another four magazine articles for publication (two medical and two travel), finished my term paper (thanks, Dungngo), and conducted some researches on magazines where I can contribute. I’ve also watched a play at Greenbelt 1 and attended an art exhibit at UP Vargas Museum. Likewise, I’ve polished my pen (poetry and essay). So far, I’ve written about three essays, one Iluko short story, one english short story, and several poems. I’ve also made two videos (thanks again, Dungngo), edited my Dungngo’s short story and co-authored a nobe-nobela at my blog in Iluko.com. Right now, I am writing an article and I’ve got another one lined up for next week.
I think I’ve been productive during the past two months of my “bumship.” Only, most of my outputs are for personal pleasure (blog posts for blogger and iluko.com… hehehe). So while in the next two months I think I’d be doing pretty much the same, I’d endeavor now to write more “for publication” pieces. Practice time is up. I think it’s about time I churn out more publish-worthy pieces.
________
I think I’d still try to find a part time job — one that would give me regular assignments but won’t ask me to regularly report for work. (Kung bakit kasi puro full-time ang offer! Waaaa!)
Friday, September 28, 2007
FREELANCING HOBBIES
Now that I am free from the shackles of a fulltime job, I can already start doing the things I’ve promised myself I’d do when I have the time. I am listing here the things I want to accomplish (besides work) as a reminder for myself.
Travel. I love going to places. It has always been my dream to see different parts of the country (and of the world?), meet people, experience different cultures, and write about them. For me, travel writing is one of the most enjoyable writing jobs on earth.
Photography. Travel articles will never look good without good travel photos. There is no ugly subject, only lousy photographers. I hope I can eventually cross the line between amateur and pro-like.
Videography. With the advent of photo-editing programs, it should be easily doable now. And with my online tutor (hehehe) to help me, I’m sure I’d soon be able to make loads and loads of good videos. (Hey, please give pointers, guys!)
Dressmaking. No, I am not planning to eventually put up a dressmaking business. All I wanna do is sew my own and family members’ dresses. I hate going from one boutique to another, and not being able to find a dress I’d love to wear. Often, in RTWs, there is one element I don’t like, like color, or button, or the hem, or the length, or whatev.
Writing. I am not talking about blog posts. Not even the magazine type articles that I write. I am talking about fiction. Short story. I hope I could sit down and really write soon.
Travel. I love going to places. It has always been my dream to see different parts of the country (and of the world?), meet people, experience different cultures, and write about them. For me, travel writing is one of the most enjoyable writing jobs on earth.
Photography. Travel articles will never look good without good travel photos. There is no ugly subject, only lousy photographers. I hope I can eventually cross the line between amateur and pro-like.
Videography. With the advent of photo-editing programs, it should be easily doable now. And with my online tutor (hehehe) to help me, I’m sure I’d soon be able to make loads and loads of good videos. (Hey, please give pointers, guys!)
Dressmaking. No, I am not planning to eventually put up a dressmaking business. All I wanna do is sew my own and family members’ dresses. I hate going from one boutique to another, and not being able to find a dress I’d love to wear. Often, in RTWs, there is one element I don’t like, like color, or button, or the hem, or the length, or whatev.
Writing. I am not talking about blog posts. Not even the magazine type articles that I write. I am talking about fiction. Short story. I hope I could sit down and really write soon.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
One memorable experience
Johnny Hidalgo, Aida Tiama, SEB, F. Sionil Jose, Jovy AmorinMy first thought when I read Manong Johnny Hidalgo’s invitation to a poetry reading where I was to read three Iluko poems with other Iluko writers at La Solidaridad Bookstore, which is owned and managed by National Artist for Iluko Literature, F. Sionil Jose, was that it would be a good learning experience for me. So I excitedly said yes. I did not even bother to ask pertinent questions about the event.
It was only the following day, when Jake Ilac sent me a text message informing me he couldn’t go, that
I learned that the event to which we were invited was an exclusive poetry reading with PEN (Poets, Essayists, Novelists — an association of writers in English and Tagalog) members. It was then that it hit me: I am no poet! And I haven’t done nor watched professional poetry reading before. Could I possibly do it? Slowly, feelings of inadequacy started welling up inside me, but I immediately bottled it, telling myself it would be easy and that I could do it.My psyching up effort must have worked, for soon I was again excited about the whole idea. That is, until I got another message from Manong Jovy Amorin asking me if I was going to the poetry reading tomorrow. I was puzzled, because in my mind, the event was days away, only to realize that I got the date mixed up. (I thought August 25 was next Wednesday pa.)
I started to panic, because I did not have a poem by any Iluko poet ready, and I wanted to practice a little so I would not mess up. I wasn’t sure if I had any anthology of Iluko poems at my place (I remembered I’ve given some of my books to Dad). Good thing my ever reliable Dungngo is always there for me. He did not only re-schedule his hospital appointment so he could be with me before my performance, but he also looked for short poems for me.
While talking online, I asked Dungngo to listen to me as I practiced. Until now I can still imagine him shaking his head every time I mispronounced a word, or made a wrong intonation. I almost concluded that not only can’t I write a good Iluko poem, but also can’t even read. It took me several tries before he said I was getting better, although he still didn’t think I was doing great. Hmp!
The poetry reading? It was great! No, I'm not talking about my performance. I'm referring to the whole experience. Manong Jovy, Manang Aida and I felt so glad and honored we were invited to the event. We are all looking forward to another one like it. Me especially.
_______
Caption:
Other photo Writers Domingo Landicho, Juan Hidalgo, Jr. and Playwright Malou Jacob;
Sunday, August 26, 2007
A chapter lived... and completed
We’ve finally wrapped up our September issue of H&L last Friday, after all the delays and hassles and nasty stress we’ve been through, caused by the holiday (last Monday was Ninoy Aquino day) and the floods last week which prompted management to cancel work on Wednesday and Friday.
As I watched our layout artist, Manong Gary, save the PDF files onto a CD, I heaved a sigh of relief. One issue down! Then I realized it was to be my last. Suddenly, surprisingly, I was enveloped with melancholy.
I've always known I would feel sad about leaving my friends behind. But the melancholy I felt last Friday was more for the realization that, starting September 3, I will no longer hold the reins of H&L. Another chapter of my life finished. I corked that thought, reminding myself that this is what I’ve always wanted.
Having worked for the company for almost three years, I think I've learned enough for the next phase — my ultimate career goal: to work freelance. Now, I’m ready to move on. I hope.
I do understand that in this new stage, I will be facing a different set of challenges, foremost of which is the fact that there will no longer be regular paychecks. I hope the preparations I’ve done would help me get through at least the first three months of my “bumship.” After that, I should be okay. I should have already settled by December. I hope. I pray.
As I watched our layout artist, Manong Gary, save the PDF files onto a CD, I heaved a sigh of relief. One issue down! Then I realized it was to be my last. Suddenly, surprisingly, I was enveloped with melancholy.
I've always known I would feel sad about leaving my friends behind. But the melancholy I felt last Friday was more for the realization that, starting September 3, I will no longer hold the reins of H&L. Another chapter of my life finished. I corked that thought, reminding myself that this is what I’ve always wanted.
Having worked for the company for almost three years, I think I've learned enough for the next phase — my ultimate career goal: to work freelance. Now, I’m ready to move on. I hope.
I do understand that in this new stage, I will be facing a different set of challenges, foremost of which is the fact that there will no longer be regular paychecks. I hope the preparations I’ve done would help me get through at least the first three months of my “bumship.” After that, I should be okay. I should have already settled by December. I hope. I pray.
Monday, July 09, 2007
"BUNGEE" JUMPING
(Reversible Suicide Part II)
Soon, it’s jump time once again. This next jump would be the biggest — and the riskiest — jump of my career. But somehow, I don’t feel as scared as I was in my previous jumps. Come to think of it, I was hardly scared then.
During my previous jumps, I was aware that there was no net to catch me. But I was also sure of the things I could do, of the things I could offer, so I never worried about not landing on solid ground. And solid ground, I always found.
This time, however, I am sure there is a net somewhere — a net that would prevent me from hitting the ground with a loud thud, in case I fail. And this time, I am not in it alone; I am jumping off with dear friends (Celestine, Salve and my brother Ogie). So though the stakes are much higher now than in any of the jumps I did before, the fear of failing still remains alien to me.
In fact, I am already excited. Why wouldn’t I be? As my friends and I come closer and closer to the jump day, the brighter our idea becomes. The closer we examine it for loop holes, the more perfect it seems.
I really do hope we'll succeed, because, more than anything, this might just be my chance to prove that I am right in believing that I need not leave the country to do well; that though the road I’ve chosen is longer and more steep, it too leads there (wherever there is). Or, does it? Hmm...
__________
(Side Story)
On Staying Behind…
It was with the carelessness of a child when I said to myself when I was 10 years old that I will never work in a foreign country, that I will travel abroad only to visit, never to work. I can easily extricate myself from that promise (on the ground that it was made before I even reached the age when I could make sound decisions)but I have always tried to uphold it.
It is not for nationalistic reasons (“the country needs excellent professionals here”) that I chose to stay, although of course I also like to think that by staying here, I am doing something for the country. [But then again, aren’t those who have left the ones saving the country from financial crisis through their remittances? Hmmm…]
I stayed because I’ve decided I cannot make the sacrifice of being away from my family for years. I always had this fear of leaving my loved ones breathing and healthy, though sad of my departure, only to find them cold and lifeless on my return. And, if that isn’t bad enough, how about not being able to see them one last time before they are buried (like what happened to my brother Ogie who was in the US for a five-month training when Inang Pacing died)?
Although it can be said that technically I, too, had not been with Inang and Amang when they took their final breaths, I was able to go home as often as I could before they died. And I was able to spend quality time with them, and store good memories of them to last me a lifetime.
So my reason for staying is selfish really, but going home every now and then, and sharing a laugh or two with the people I love so much is more important for me than hauling money ten or more times faster than I can do here.
Of course, there are times that I feel I should have left too (especially during hard times), but when I am able to tease my parents and pester my brothers and sisters-in-law face to face, when I can hug my nephew and kiss my grandmother, I know I’ve made the right decision.
And with this jump my friends and I are about to make, maybe… just maybe, this issue will be put to rest.
[Although there is a big possibility I will have to spend a few years abroad too… IF… hmmm… ironic talaga ang buhay! Waaaaaaa!]
*If you want to read Reversible Suicide, click http://dwickedangel.blogspot.com/2006/03/reversible-suicide.html
Soon, it’s jump time once again. This next jump would be the biggest — and the riskiest — jump of my career. But somehow, I don’t feel as scared as I was in my previous jumps. Come to think of it, I was hardly scared then.
During my previous jumps, I was aware that there was no net to catch me. But I was also sure of the things I could do, of the things I could offer, so I never worried about not landing on solid ground. And solid ground, I always found.
This time, however, I am sure there is a net somewhere — a net that would prevent me from hitting the ground with a loud thud, in case I fail. And this time, I am not in it alone; I am jumping off with dear friends (Celestine, Salve and my brother Ogie). So though the stakes are much higher now than in any of the jumps I did before, the fear of failing still remains alien to me.
In fact, I am already excited. Why wouldn’t I be? As my friends and I come closer and closer to the jump day, the brighter our idea becomes. The closer we examine it for loop holes, the more perfect it seems.
I really do hope we'll succeed, because, more than anything, this might just be my chance to prove that I am right in believing that I need not leave the country to do well; that though the road I’ve chosen is longer and more steep, it too leads there (wherever there is). Or, does it? Hmm...
__________
(Side Story)
On Staying Behind…
It was with the carelessness of a child when I said to myself when I was 10 years old that I will never work in a foreign country, that I will travel abroad only to visit, never to work. I can easily extricate myself from that promise (on the ground that it was made before I even reached the age when I could make sound decisions)but I have always tried to uphold it.
It is not for nationalistic reasons (“the country needs excellent professionals here”) that I chose to stay, although of course I also like to think that by staying here, I am doing something for the country. [But then again, aren’t those who have left the ones saving the country from financial crisis through their remittances? Hmmm…]
I stayed because I’ve decided I cannot make the sacrifice of being away from my family for years. I always had this fear of leaving my loved ones breathing and healthy, though sad of my departure, only to find them cold and lifeless on my return. And, if that isn’t bad enough, how about not being able to see them one last time before they are buried (like what happened to my brother Ogie who was in the US for a five-month training when Inang Pacing died)?
Although it can be said that technically I, too, had not been with Inang and Amang when they took their final breaths, I was able to go home as often as I could before they died. And I was able to spend quality time with them, and store good memories of them to last me a lifetime.
So my reason for staying is selfish really, but going home every now and then, and sharing a laugh or two with the people I love so much is more important for me than hauling money ten or more times faster than I can do here.
Of course, there are times that I feel I should have left too (especially during hard times), but when I am able to tease my parents and pester my brothers and sisters-in-law face to face, when I can hug my nephew and kiss my grandmother, I know I’ve made the right decision.
And with this jump my friends and I are about to make, maybe… just maybe, this issue will be put to rest.
[Although there is a big possibility I will have to spend a few years abroad too… IF… hmmm… ironic talaga ang buhay! Waaaaaaa!]
*If you want to read Reversible Suicide, click http://dwickedangel.blogspot.com/2006/03/reversible-suicide.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)