My mother tongue, poetry, and me...

I am now writing in Iluko.

It’s not much of a feat, really. For one, I still can’t say I’m already good at it. But still, I cannot help but be pleased with myself.

I have always longed for this moment… although at the back of my mind, I’ve always wondered if it would ever come, fearing all the time that it never will.

Thank God it did.

Now, the words come easier to me. It’s no longer like before when I would sit in front of my PC, willing my hands to tap the keyboard, and my mind to dictate the words of my native tongue, wishing Ilocano words to blink on my computer screen. But always, my attempts left me feeling frustrated. I always ended up writing in English.

Yet I still persevered.

Now, there are times when, even before I could set up my lap top, words are already bubbling in my mind, so that by the time I have opened my PC, my fingers are already itching to play with the key board. In fact, during the past weeks, I have created several Iluko poems.

That’s another thing. I am now writing poems. Had I not always said I don’t know how to write a poem? Had I not claimed before that I don’t appreciate poetry? How come I am now attempting to write in this genre?

I don’t know. I just do now… I mean, try. Of course, my outputs aren’t perfect yet. Some may just be quasi. But what the heck. I am teaching myself… I am exploring. I am trying different styles. Who knows, soon I may be able to find my own style. Who knows I may eventually learn to write real ones.

I wish… Or shall I say, I hope?



//One can easily point out that it’s not just now that I am writing poems… that I have pieces written even when I was in elementary. But I don’t know. It’s only now that I’ve come to truly appreciate poetry… and actually attempt to write real ones.

Only daughter no more...

Hey folks! Meet my sisters. Roselyn Kate (formerly Ms. De Guzman of Mallig Isabela, my brother Ryan's wife) and Sheryll (Ignacio/Fernandez of Laoag, my brother Manuel's bride this April).

I feel so blessed to have nice and loving sisters-in-law...


/Photo taken on March 25 at Abinganan, Bambang Nueva Vizcaya while Kate and I were talking to myTatang and Sheryll and Manz' Ninong (kano) on the phone. See the headset? He he he...

Balasang ti Bambang

Kansionanka man, O balasang ti Bambang
balasang a napintas nga innak pagrukbaban
itoy nga aldaw nga inka panagkanaganan
panagtaom, ita ken iti agnanayon, diakto kalipatan.

Isagutko kenka toy ayatko a nagpaiduma
bitbituen sadiay langit, purosekto amin ida
inayonko diay bulan aramidekto a kas korona
nga ibalangat dita ulom, selnaganna ‘ta sadia.

Iyawatko a naimpusuan dagiti pinilik a rosas
karagupna metten dagiti napudno nga arasa-as
ti talingenngen ni Kari, saanto a manasanas
panangtagiben kapia-ni-tulag, dinto pulos agkupas.

Itden koma ti Apo ita nga aldaw a panagkasangaymo
pannakataginayon ni ragsak, regta, salun-at ken dungngo
ni pangipateg ken ni Ayat, agsadag dita barukongmo
tapno inta manibi dagiti tarigagay ken kari ti dua-a-puso.

Kansionanka ngarud O Pintas ti Bambang
sapata ni kinapudno dim’ to koma kalipatan
ta awanton sabali nga innak tarigagayan
no di ‘ta ayatmo, Anghel nga innak pagraywan.


Birthday song from Mr. Clifton Pascua

What matters

They say what matters is not how good we are in keeping ourselves out of trouble but how well we get out of trouble after we have unwittingly gotten into it. I agree. After all, there can’t possibly be any one who can manage not to ever get into trouble. I believe that at some points in our lives, we find ourselves in situations we never dreamed of ever going into — situations which we’d rather watch from a safe distance than be involved in.

Indeed, at one point or another, we succumb to temptations, commit mistakes, make wrong moves, and yes — fail. And very soon we find ourselves caught in a tangled web whose ending and beginning we can no longer pinpoint, and from which liberating ourselves seems impossible.

Then we realize that getting out of our predicaments can be very difficult, and that not all of us have the courage, the determination and the will to get out of sorrow’s clasps. More over, it seems that not everyone of those who might have them (courage, determination and will) can actually make it — some do succeed, often after having been badly scathed with all their struggles; but some would fail and succumb to destruction.

What’s worse is that, even those who might manage to escape from the abyss they’ve been thrown into might, in their struggles, lose something of themselves, so that, although they would still be the same persons who have gotten into and out of the maze, they would no longer be their old selves. Somehow, they would be changed.

So while our ability to get out of the trouble we have gotten ourselves into matters more than our ability to keep out of it, far more important is the person we may become after everything we go through — if, after all that we put up with, we will still have our conscience to help us discern what is right and what is wrong, and the willingness and ability to heed the dictates of that conscience.

Drop of Water

A single drop of water
grows into a river
that flows relentlessly
around hills and mountains
over valleys and plains
along a path
both straight and crooked
wide and narrow
in the hope that someday
she might reach the ocean
where she might attain peace
and have her rest.

But for now she’s just a river
that flows relentlessly
around hills and mountains
over valleys and plains
along a path
both straight and crooked
wide and narrow
in the hope that someday
she might reach the ocean
where she might attain peace
and have her rest
after having grown out of
a single drop of water.


Sherma E. Benosa
March 22, 2007, 10:40pm

Nagulimek Dagiti Billit Tuleng

Naulimek ti angin, kumkumpasanna’t aweng
Ken sagawisiw dagiti billit tuleng
A dangdanggayan met dagiti bulong
Mangliklikmot naiisem a sabsabong
A mangpaypayapay, mangaw-awis kenka
Tapno makipagragsakka kadakuada.

Immisemka, ngem apay a napait
Naibus kadin isemmo a nasam-it
Imbunbunongmo kadagiti papagayam
Inarub-obda kadin a naminpinsan?
Naatianan kadin daydi bubon
Pagsaksakduan isemmo naruay a kas danum?

Idiay laud, aggargarakgak ti init
Mangbuybuya mulmula a masinsinit
‘Di mangikankano kadagiti sangit a maip-ipit
Ken rungaab dagiti mula a naiburang-it
Agpapaarayat, dumawdawat iti asi
Sangkabassit a danum a maiwarsi.

Naikulengka, ngem apagapaman laeng
Ta pagamuan adda nangikut kenka nga aweng
A nangidiktar iti aramidem. Wen, gayyem
Luam nagarubosda, ket dagiti mula nagungarda
Ngem anian, saanmon a nakita nasam-it nga isemda
Ta idin, pagayam, ket naglusdoyka.

Nagulimek metten dagiti billit tuleng.


Sherma E. Benosa
March 20, 2007

Some quasi-poems

My sleep-obsessed creativity usually springs up to life when I am in the mood for teasing. Unfortunately, my outputs when I am in this kind of mood aren't good enough for publication. But I don't mind. I always have a good laugh creating and posting them. And that is good enough reward for me.

Let me share some of my "works."

PHOTOGRAPH

Do you feel them, Photograph
The soft caresses VF gives your cheeks
And the stares he throws your way?
And do you notice, girl
The silly expression on his face, the glitter in his eyes
Whenever he sees your smiling face?
Do tell me: Can you hear
His sighs as he recites a prayer
And whispers: “Oh darling, wish you’re here”?
Do they make you blush?
Do they make you wish you weren’t trapped
Like that... a still photograph?
Do you feel the urge to reach for his hand
And to whisper back to him
You’re wishing for the same thing?
Or do you wish that he’d throw you away
Or give you to someone else, for this place —
His desk — is not where you’d wanna stay?

Sherma E. Benosa
September 25, 2005

--------------

IF
'Backyard Kulding’

If you can’t sleep well at night
Without thoughts of the lady that stole your heart;
If you can’t start the day right
Without hearing her voice that’s music to your heart;
If you seem to see her face everywhere you look
And sniff her scent in every flower you pass by;
If you catch yourself a-smiling
At the thought of her naughty, naughty eyes;
If you feel bad and downhearted
Whenever you can’t get a glimpse of her smile;
If for her welfare, you are prepared to die
And in her company, you see heaven
You might be in love (finally!) my friend
But I’m not sure if that’s good news to you
What’s more: she may not feel the same way, too;
Uh-oh. Kaasi ka pay, agbaakka a baro!

Sherma E. Benosa
October 25, 2006

(My apologies to Mr. Rudyard Kipling...)

--------------

UNTITLED (FOR VF)

Hey VF, my favorite prey
Try not to go astray.
After all, wherever you go
My claws, they shall reach you.

My palsiit, I will use to make you ulaw
When you wake up, you’ll be so mawaw
And your head, ha ha, it’s so kawaw
Wen a, because you are agam-ammangaw!

My tali, so atiddog, it shall be the taldeng
That will keep you within my uged
Sorry but already you are nakaparnged
Get out of my clasp you can't; Oh too many lapped.

And when finally you lie down to die, VF
Pray that I'd be able to control myself
Lest before death be brought upon you
I'd make a last-minute fun of you.

Your pingping, I will kuddot
Your buok I will pungot
You ear I will kulding
Your mata, I will make bulding.

Your saka I will paddak
Your muging I will lipak
Your agong I will pitik
Your ramay I will ipit.

Your heart, I will durdor
Your flesh, I will dunor
Your tengnged I will ngurongor
Your ulo I will pang-or.

Your head, uray nabtak, I shall bring home
There in my sala it will stay alone
And to my visitors I’ll say, “oh that trophy
Is actually the ulo of my enemy.”

Then amidst their applause I, the victorious amazona,
My right hand, in victory, I shall itanggaya!
And together we shall pray that your karurua
Will go koma to that place a nakaikarianna.

Sherma E. Benosa
May 23, 2006

All these were first posted in Clifton Pascua’s blog in www.iluko.com

BNSFIT (SHERMA)

Kas iti agmatuon, sinurotko ti dalan ni kinadangkok
a mangsapul ti kalintegan daydi nasaktan a pusok.
Sinurotko ti desdes ni karemmengan a mangkutikot
iti kailugaran dagiti panagsagaba, awan sarday a tuok.
Inem-emak ni saem ken pannakailuya, tinagibik dagiti pait
a nangpatibker iti Bato tapno agtulidtulid a mangidalit.
Linipatko ti kaipapanan ni ayat tapno ti gagem
ni napasugkian nga abrasa, rason ni apas innak matagikua.
Naglemmesak kadagiti alimpatok dagiti nagarampang a silaw
tapno pilitek a lipaten dagiti nasanaang ken kawaw a kalgaw.
Sinapulko dagiti sungbat dagiti saludsod ni napukaw nga ayat
a mabalin a naikitikit iti langit wenno iti tapok a naisurat.
Dinaliasat ko dagiti saan pay a naimaldit a langalang
tapno mautob dagiti nabannogen a gasatko a naawan.
Kumuyogak koma kadagiti raya ni Init nga agdisso
iti barukong ni mangliwengliweng nga adayo.
Ngem patiek ngata nga itundanak iti lugar ni talina-ay
tapno sanguek ni inana, lipatekon tuok ken upay?
Adda kadi kaimudingak a dumawat iti pannaka-awat
ken agpatulong a manglagda’t agrakayan adigi ni Tangig?
Tapno ti natda a lawag pilitek a sapulen ken supusopan,
dagiti nagkurangak kenni naiwawa a tulag ni Puso.

— VF

Creating mental exercises is fun

Answering puzzles is a good exercise for the mind. In fact, experts recommend this type of mental activity for those who want to keep their minds sharp, especially when they are already in advanced age.

Lately though, my Dungngo and I discovered that creating puzzles is far more fulfilling than just answering published ones. And it is more enjoyable, too, especially when we take turns answering each other's puzzle. Our laughter as we tease each other when one of us finds it hard to answer the other’s puzzles, and our squeals of delight when we are able to answer them, echoes loud and clear into our minds even long after we have found other things to amuse ourselves on.

One of our favorite is encrypting and decrypting codes. Here is one of the codes I made for him to decrypt:


MCK0113C 02G01OP EJ1519G UP

Clues for the first phase:
1. Numbers always come in pairs (2 digits). A pair represents a letter. Figure out the rule.
2. A letter belonging to the A-J string represents the second letter to its left in the alphabet.
3. A letter belonging to the K-T string represents the third letter to its right in the alphabet.
4. A letter belonging to the U-Z string represents itself.

Decoded message (which is also a code): ____________________________


Clue for the second phase of the decoding process:

O, goddess of the wilderness, keeper of the key
The cleverest of preys surrenders to thee
Legend has it that poinsettia nursed in thy bosom
And to thy calmness and peace, the sun comes home.

Decoded message (Final Answer): _________________________