The Written World: Wailing

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Wailing

Today is a red-letter day in my personal calendar. It is supposed to be a day of celebration. In fact, I am supposed to have received three dozen burgundy roses yesterday, and to have had a hair spa this morning. I had planned to put on a simple dress, and wear a barely-there makeup, so that when I am online, he would know that he is indeed special. Maybe he would tell me I looked good, or tease me with, “Oh, langamon, Ragu!”

But none of this happened. Right now, I sit in front of the computer, typing this piece after leaving comments in some neighbors’ blogs in Iluko.com (as I have done yesterday) to drive my worries away.

Except that they won’t go. I don’t think they would, until I get that piece of information I need so badly — the results of his tests assuring me he is alright. That there’s nothing serious. That it’s just fatigue. That all he needs is rest.

If I get that, then I could easily forget that we’ve been robbed off the chance to enjoy our most special day. But until then, I sit here, willing the tears away, wishing he can find a way to contact me soon… and tell me, “Happy Anniversary, Love!”

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: HOH, langamon ragu' !

FYI, I used all my charms to convince all the nurses to let me bring my PC inside that awful and noisy MRI scanner pero nawala na yata ang bisa ang mga mapupungay kong mata. Kulang ng praktis hehehe!

Worst, they sedated me because they can’t have my heart and my brain to keep still. I wonder why...

(‘want a copy of the ‘Kodaks’ of my heart and brain Ms. Benosa?)

Sorry for failing you on that day Love. I wish you were beside me holding my hands while having all these tests.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOO LOVE.; May 13, 2007 1:53 PM
Anonymous said...: Waaa...

I can't just get off here now Ms. Bully. Next time, don't write things like this -you break my 'wailing' heart!

Oist, remember I once asked you a year ago: 'how do you count a heartbeat?'

Now I'm asking you: how do you slow down an overspeeding heartbeat?

oh-owwwww... don't call the highway patrol hehehe!

...unless you are the police officer!

wait lang, the burgundy-red roses, I tried several times my Love but I seem to have lost my tact for the last few days... sorry again.

'di bale, I'll deliver them personally -arranged THE WAY I LIKE.

:-); May 13, 2007 11:14 PM
Anonymous said...: Now, I'm wailing too MSB!; June 05, 2007 6:08 PM

MY SHORT LINERS

Dreams don't soar in our sleep. It is only when we are wide awake that we are able to give them wings, and it is when our courage learns to fly that we able to crash our fears. //seb;01April2008

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Life is a continuous process of winnowing; of separating the grains from the chaffs. Sometimes, though, we throw away the grains; not the pebbles, not the chaffs. And then we spend the rest of our lives staring at the empty husks of our choices, wondering where the grains went, chasing after them, and finding it hard to see them amid the mountains of chaffs we have surrounded ourselves. //seb 04January2009
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We are but actors in an untitled play, acting out parts of a plot unbeknownst to us, under the tutelage of an unseen director.//seb2005

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Pride is a two-faced coin: one beautiful; and the other, repulsive. Like the pillar that keeps an edifice erect, pride is that which makes an individual stand tall. When twisted, however, pride becomes an ugly face that reeks of arrogance and conceit. //seb2007
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There is such a thing as 'coming clean.' And no, it does not mean washing your hands. It means owning up to your mistake. //seb2012

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The taste of defeat isn't bitter. It is actually sweet. The trick is to swallow not while you are going through it, but when you have gone past it. //seb 16August2013;11:27pm
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We really cannot be anybody’s mirror. Our reaction to other people’s actions/deeds is not a reflection of these people, but of our interpretation to their actions. We reflect not them, but ourselves. //seb15July2013
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Success is not just about arriving; it is more about moving, however slowly. And however tough. So is change. //seb28July2013; 8:51am

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They ring the loudest, the voices we forbid to speak. //seb2011
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The truth is a whole story. //seb07January2013

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I always wondered why we are so fond of putting people we highly regard on a pedestal, when we can see the true measure of a man not by how tall he stands on a pedestal, but how firmly his feet are rooted on the ground. //seb04December 2012; 5:50pm
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Potential and opportunity are two of my favorite power words. They both lead to becoming, to advancement and improvement. And they both require action. To be truly meaningful, opportunity must be seized; and potential, honed and realized. Like dreams and ideas, their best is not their present state, but what they become after they have been acted upon. //seb; 02June 2011; 10:35pm

MORE ABOUT ME

Strong-willed and self-reliant are the words that are always affixed to my name. Shrewd is my nickname, stubborn is my middle name, and straightforward is my pseudonym. Sugar-coated speech isn’t my specialty, and flattery is nowhere in my vocabulary. The weak hate me, and the ridiculous detest me.

I have a penchant for winning, an insatiable thirst for learning, and an unexplainable affinity towards the unexplained.

I am often drawn to unexplored territories and untested waters. Defying the odds is my favorite sports, challenging authority is my favorite pastime, and taking risks and jumping off different cliffs are among my hobbies.

I have a steady love affair with logic and a regular rendezvous with creativity. For the former, I am a word slayer; but for the latter, I am she who puts form and persona to the abstract, and mystic to the tangible.

In some ways I am both yin and yang. I can be calm as the sunset, and fiery as the noontime sun. I can be both reckless and careful, passionate and disinterested, simple and complicated.

Excellence and elegance are my trademarks. I work not just with my hand, but also with my heart and mind. Over big and minuscule details I slave, until the two qualities I so admire — unique and outstanding — are embodied in my creation.

My family and the love that I have are my greatest treasures; whereas my biggest assets are the contents of my heart — the love that flows out of it, the warmth that emanates from it, and the peace that resides in it.

My greatest aspiration is to live a life that’s full and with very few regrets. Meaningless schemes and pathetic pursuits have no place in my daily itinerary. What's in it are making this journey I have started as meaningful as it can be, never stepping onto other people’s toes, and encouraging others to pursue their dreams.

I believe that there is a Great Being that guides us through every step of the way, although the decision about whether we take a step or not, and which direction to take is left to us. I hope — and believe — that the direction I have chosen to trudge will lead me to that place where I can look back to my life, and say, “well done!”