Parting shots

I read a story early this year about a man who staged a mock funeral for himself by gathering his family and friends and asking them to say their eulogies for him because he wanted to hear what they would say in his actual funeral.

That is a bit morbid a scenario, but that’s what actually inspired me to write how I would remember my officemates — past and present — when the time for us to part ways (to pursue different directions) comes.

Here we go:

Elaine. Despite all the nice things that Elaine is, I will always remember her as the girl who pretended to be sweet and tahimik during her first 6 weeks in the company. So unsociable she was then that Kiko, Patsy and I often wondered about whether or not her being quiet was for real. And taking into consideration what she turned out to be when she finally decided to peel off her layers — a big bully — I could not help but be glad and sorry at the same time. Glad that I won the wager (I betted that she was just pretending) and sorry because I was one of those whom she chose to (try to) bully.

Patsy. The reigning editorial mascot when I arrived at FAME, Patsy’s “coveted” title may now go either to Chie or Lorien (in my humble opinion). These two imps could sometimes be such a pain in the ass while being so awfully funny that I often find myself wondering what to do — throw at them whatever was in my hand in annoyance or laugh out loud in amusement. But really, there is only one pervert, illogical and sablay person in the world, and that’s Patsy.

Chie Chie. The girl who has yet to learn that punctuation marks serve a purpose, she is both a menace and an angel. I know I will forever be haunted by her soon-to-be-more-famous lines: “Ano’ng oras ang 3pm?” “Ayan, lumamig na tuloy ang ice cream ko,” “Nine AM ng umaga?” and “Miss, meron ba kayong coke na nagyeyelo, yung tipong nag-a-ice?”

Why soon-to-be-more-famous? Well, Chie, boys and girls, is now a commercial model. Her beautiful face is soon to dominate (and add color to) your primetime TV viewing. Hehe

Jing. It comes as a surprise for those who are not in the know, but yes, Jing is Chie Chie’s sister. But while Chie Chie is taranta personified, Jing is the personification of calmness. Everybody would already be panicking, but she would just be sitting there, working calmly and unaffected by the chaos around her, most probably courtesy of — who else? — her dear sister.

Manong Ricco. I’m actually a few months older than him, but I call him Manong. He can be makulit or masungit sometimes, especially when puyat, but he’s such a darling. Whenever I have to stay late (most often until 1:30am; sometimes 4am) in the office, I only need to ask him to please stay late too, and he would be canceling his appointments, including his date with … uh-oh, can’t say (Sowi!). What’s more, he’s one of the very few people who think I look funny when I am mad. In fact, I suspect he enjoys it when I am “sinusumpong” because it is during these times that he laughs most often. Nakakainis!

Ryan. We’re not really related. Neither is he too young (nor I too old), but yup, he calls me “Tita.” He lives in the shadows of his more famous brother (for now) — GMA’s Jiggy Manicad — but Ryan is destined to surpass Jiggy’s fame. And no, not because he is soon to be given big breaks, but because of some “bomba” about him that I would leak to the press.

Just what it might be? Hmmm… I won’t tell. Hehehe

(Disclaimer: Hey, I am just joking about this racket about Ryan. Despite all the kakulitan that he does in the office, he is one sweet guy. Let me borrow Arno’s words when he talked about Ryan and Jiggy: Maganda ang pagpapalaki sa kanila ng kanilang mga magulang. And that, I think, is the highest compliment any person could ever hope to receive.)